Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Reflections
I remember the person I was growing up and I’m not
entirely proud of it. I was intolerant; minimalized others for differences to
obscure my own inadequacies. I wish I hadn’t. There’s nothing worse than seeing
the look of pain on someone’s face, especially when you’re the one who created
it. And yet, I see this now in the news more than ever. People bullied to such
an extent through social media it becomes unbearable. I fret to think the kind
of kid I was having the vast tools of today at disposal. I’d like to think I’d
take the highroad. But I can’t be sure. I can only look at the harsh lessons I’ve
learned. I overhear hateful conversations and I want to intervene. But can I
really? I wasn’t so different once upon a time. Last night I witnessed a group
of friends insulting the mannerisms of gay men at length. They laughed; I
feared for them in silence. Perhaps someone in the very group was gay and
afraid to come out, seeing the potential of such retribution. Perhaps someone
will be the next time or the time after that. It’s impossible to contemplate a
person living such a lie because the world around can’t tolerate them for who
they are.
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Differences can be funny, but when it crosses the line into biggotry I speak up...I have alianated others with this in the past but that is their issue, not mine. Although I dont usually have to worry about physical retrobution, because I am a big guy so that gives me freedom that others may not have.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I wish I would have spoken up. Another friend did say the word "fag" later that night though and I told them not to use it.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a young teen I joined in with others who teased a guy, calling him gay names. I look back and feel really bad. I don't think I even knew what it was I was saying. He was an annoying, intrusive kid, but still, I'm sure we hurt him, that I hurt him. Like you, when I see young people teasing/bullying there's a sense of helplessness and inevitability. And the hope that they'll wise up and turn into kinder adults.
ReplyDeleteBut then I stand by and listen as successful, college educated, otherwise liberal minded men engage in subtle gay bashing for laughs. And there I am, the mom of a teenage son who is gay who is every bit as effeminate as they're imitating. They're entitled to their thoughts and chuckles, and I get the humor, but you just wonder when American men are going to grow the eff up.
It's especially hard to believe education can fail to enlighten such viewpoints. I agree to that they are entitled to their viewpoints but I would ask them to really think before they say such things.
ReplyDeleteBen not many people have that abality, I am glad you do. this was a thought pervoking prompt I was that kid in school that was tortured. Wasnt the kids fault they had no perspective or guidence. I think the worst thing a adult can say is that "That is what happens...let them sort it out them self, sink or swim." DUMB!
ReplyDeleteYeah, the suck it up, or walk it off approach. Watching the world around you burn is great until your house is on fire.
DeleteI think we all have to put our hands up and say I could have been better..but maybe that shows one of the positives of reflecting and growing 'up' (wards) to raise that paw..(ps I wouldn't advise a vacation in my head)..jae
ReplyDeleteI really wish I could go back with what I know now.
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