Friday, April 5, 2013

Budget Debate Rant

My biggest issue with the budget debate in Congress is Boehner's insistance to cut what he terms "entitlements." People who pay into programs their whole lives will not collect. He insists that cutting this spending is just. Billionaires can keep billions over seas, pay next to none in taxes; corporations can get millions from the government (while paying nothing in taxes); but we are stuck attacking our most vulnerable. Sick people must suffer and die so the wealthy keep tax breaks. It isn't right. Why must we pay tribute to overlords who do not invest in America and destroy its environment?

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Do Not Go Left

Long time, no see, fellow batlings. It isn't often I do not endorse a liberal news page. This time however, I make an exception. Go Left on Facebook proves that views of both liberals and conservatives can be narrow-minded. Their philosophy is not about fighting for those less fortunate or empowering citizens to make effective change through government; it is merely attacking conservatives. Worst of all, they do it without humor, blocking anyone who questions, or pokes the slightest bit of fun at their rigid guidelines. So, please, if just this once, do not Go Left.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Gun Debate Rant

I concede. Everyone should own as many automatic weapons as they want without background checks. But in return I reserve the right to:

Speed like hell. You need guns to protect yourself from the government and Obama. It only follows we should be able to drive as fast as possible away from both.

Own a penguin. This is a bit of a stretch, but in an argument of individual liberty, it would inhibit my personal freedom to not give me a penguin.

Be Batman. If everyone has the most powerful guns they can acquire, we can't expect police to keep up. The logical solution is to give me a billion dollars and free reign over Gotham. Who needs Miranda rights when you have the caped crusader?

Monday, January 14, 2013

Your Guide to Party Politics in the USA

Democratic Party: Trust the government.

Republican Party: Trust rich people.

Green Party: Trust the trees.

Constitution Party: Trust Jesus.

Libertarian Party: Trust rich people on heroin who love Jesus.